Miss Worded

Faux Logic!

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:44:00 -0700

OMG Bill O’Reilly and his man guests just vocally fapped all over because some (unnamed) study said conservative men are inherently stronger than nerdy, wimpy liberal men. Why? Liberals don’t believe in work or evil, therefore big strong conservative men with guns.

I have not snapped. Yet.

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:33:09 -0700

Today I have been forced to listen to Rush Limbaugh, watch Fox & Friends, and now: BILL O’REILLY.

Fox and Friends is actively telling people that because the evil IRS is in charge of Obamacare, that...

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:04:00 -0700

Fox and Friends is actively telling people that because the evil IRS is in charge of Obamacare, that every conservative will be penalized in the health care arena. As in, the IRS will investigate them because they’re so important and fighting against evil satan Obama, then they won’t be allowed to go to the doctor ever again because satan Obama and his IRS henchmen will stop them, and then they’ll all die.

I didn’t realize this is the way Obamacare works, but the whole killing grandma thing is apparently just around the corner!

"I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!!!"

Fri, 17 May 2013 11:29:07 -0700

Rush Limbaugh caller.

Caller in to his national radio show.

Live on the airwaves.

In America.

Strangely, no one stopped her.

Limbaugh constantly refers to the Obama presidency as “the regime.” If we’re a...

Fri, 17 May 2013 10:20:25 -0700

Limbaugh constantly refers to the Obama presidency as “the regime.” If we’re a regime, where’s my fancy uniform? Something with rainbows and glitter made of Mitt’s tears, please.

Send ear plugs

Fri, 17 May 2013 10:06:24 -0700

Stuck in car with parents. Rush Limbaugh on. Help!

Angie's Genes Apologize to Every Man On Earth

Tue, 14 May 2013 18:30:00 -0700

Today in a statement released to the press, Angelina Jolie’s genes apologized to every man on the earth, nay, in the universe, for cursing her amazing rack. They said, “Biology, ya know, it’s a bitch. And so am I for depriving every male eyeball of the pleasure of feasting on Angie’s natural fun bags. At least until they got saggy or whatever.”

Ms. Jolie underwent a double mastectomy under the misguided assumption that her health was the most important thing. But Bill, a dude standing next to a fire hydrant, corrected her, saying, “Damn, I liked her titties. Why didn’t she ask me? I woulda told her to keep them both. Is she even still a woman now? I mean, sexy cleavage is what women are all about. And they should simultaneously eat a lot and stay size zero.”

In order to avoid such a gross oversight of public opinion, other popular actresses are paying more attention to the needs and wants to every guy ever. Keira Knightley is taking suggestions for her daily underwear choice on her website, and it has been decided on Twitter that Emma Watson should only adopt children, because, as @fuck*nutz556 said, “preggers maks women fat and shit and kids ruin their boobs #tittiesR4me.”

Brad Pitt commented, “Sure, the genes can apologize all they want, but what about the billions of men who own Angie’s breasts? Don’t they all get a say? Look, here’s what we’ll do — she’s going to get a haircut soon. We’re circulating a survey to every male between 18-35, the most important demographic, so that everyone can make her get exactly the haircut they personally want.”

Ms. Jolie was not interviewed for this story, because why?

"Renowned author Dan Brown woke up in his luxurious four-poster bed in his expensive $10 million..."

Sat, 11 May 2013 14:37:00 -0700

“

Renowned author Dan Brown woke up in his luxurious four-poster bed in his expensive $10 million house – and immediately he felt angry. Most people would have thought that the 48-year-old man had no reason to be angry. After all, the famous writer had a new book coming out. But that was the problem. A new book meant an inevitable attack on the rich novelist by the wealthy wordsmith’s fiercest foes. The critics.

Renowned author Dan Brown hated the critics. Ever since he had become one of the world’s top renowned authors they had made fun of him. They had mocked bestselling book The Da Vinci Code, successful novel Digital Fortress, popular tome Deception Point, money-spinning volume Angels & Demons and chart-topping work of narrative fiction The Lost Symbol.

”

- Don’t make fun of renowed author Dan Brown (via scaredystark)
This is a masterpiece.
(via safno)
Brilliant satire is brilliant.

Photo

Sat, 11 May 2013 13:35:56 -0700

The gospel.

Fri, 10 May 2013 20:17:17 -0700

The gospel.

brainstatic: stevensin: Quite possibly the greatest bitch slap...

Fri, 10 May 2013 16:28:17 -0700

brainstatic:

stevensin:

Quite possibly the greatest bitch slap in Twitter history.

Ho. Ly. Fuck.

She got so damn told that they’re not even gonna call it “told” anymore. They’re gonna say “You got Meghan McCain’d.”

WHOOPS

Fri, 10 May 2013 12:04:30 -0700

glossylalia replied to your post: I think any of us who go see Star Trek Into…

John Cho comes too!!! It’s a big tub.

OK, I feel super ashamed to have left the beautiful, funny, intelligent Mr. Cho out of my pretend orgy. Damn straight.

Bumblebee Cooterrot is not invited.

I think any of us who go see Star Trek Into Darkness and resist fapping in the movie theater deserve...

Fri, 10 May 2013 10:55:00 -0700

I think any of us who go see Star Trek Into Darkness and resist fapping in the movie theater deserve some sort of self-control award. Like Chris Pine, John Cho, and Zachary Quinto taking a bubble bath with us.

suicideblonde: James Mcavoy serving Pacino realness on the...

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:23:48 -0700

suicideblonde:

James Mcavoy serving Pacino realness on the X-Men: Days of Future Past set today

HHHUUUNNNNGGGG UUUNNNFFFF
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

Yes, yes, yes, yes. All content creators, take a note from Mr....

Thu, 09 May 2013 14:36:36 -0700

Yes, yes, yes, yes. All content creators, take a note from Mr. Awesome, Joss Whedon.

Photo

Thu, 09 May 2013 13:48:49 -0700

circusbones: elliottwith2ts: Successfully summed up my...

Thu, 09 May 2013 13:17:40 -0700

circusbones:

elliottwith2ts:

Successfully summed up my creative endeavors.

^^^^^

My writing philosophy in a hot Scottish nutshell.

I can absolutely see the value of Fitocracy, but somehow the idea of all the people in my phone...

Thu, 09 May 2013 09:04:00 -0700

I can absolutely see the value of Fitocracy, but somehow the idea of all the people in my phone judging and one-upping my exercise is like having an app that stabs me in the brain when I lose a word puzzle game. Ha ha ha “‘Xyskfhjk’ isn’t a word, motherfucker, and also you’re a lazy asshole! SHALL I TELL EVERYONE? Y/Y?”

WHO WON THE COVETED DRAG RACE CROWN? Well, it ain’t...

Tue, 07 May 2013 15:05:45 -0700

WHO WON THE COVETED DRAG RACE CROWN? Well, it ain’t America’s Next Drag Three Way! Check out my recap at Persephone Magazine!

thegeek531: I live in a small apartment and have a lot of my...

Tue, 07 May 2013 13:36:30 -0700

thegeek531:

I live in a small apartment and have a lot of my books stored up in boxes. Digging through some I cam across these. You could say my adolescence is here. In this picture. I didn’t have Harry Potter growing up. I had these.