A Valentine’s Present for You — your very own romance novel, _______’s _______ing _______!

Happy V-Day, everyone!  Here’s a stupid little bit of nothing — a customizable romance novel blurb.  Fill in the blanks to make your own exciting story!  I’ve included some name suggestions below, but you should definitely make this your own.  If you want to have hot, sensuous _______ with Benedick Cumbersnatch, go for it.  This might be your only chance.

Some sample names:  Duke Sebastian Hardcheese, Marquess Blade Throbbington, Lady Purity Buttondown, Countess Sabine Von Cleavage

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[1]’s life was swimming along, well, swimmingly.  He/she was the toast of London’s ton, living a life of _______, _______, and general _______-ness, including having won that years “Biggest _______ Award,” given only to society’s most _______ person.  Everything changed the day [1] met [2], a sexpot who could only be described as overflowing with _______ (as well as some quite lovely jiggly parts, truth be told, including his/her _______.) 

But [2] had a problem.  Their beloved pet _______, a rare, exotic _______ who enjoyed laying around interfering with _______, had gone missing.  [2] just knew that the devious bastard [1] had taken [pet], because of [1’s] exciting backstory.  [1] used to be a secret _______er of [pets], traveling about _______ing them.   Honestly, it wasn’t much of a secret, since [2] knew all about it.  What?  There was no TV — everyone was bored.  [2] had their own marvelous backstory, like, duh.  [2] used to _______ the _______s in the debut theatrical production of _______ _______ _______.  They were written up in _______ _______ Weekly and everything!

Can [1] help [2] find their somewhat-ill-tempered [pet]?  Will they fall in love and have hot, sensuous _______?  And what will everyone say when it’s revealed that [pet] is really a _______?  Read _______’s _______ing _______ to find out!