Why reading romance is good for your sexin’.
A lot of people mock romance novels. A lot. But I maintain that they are wonderful to read, and not just because they can have great, exciting, funny, scary, action-packed, whatever stories written by amazing authors.
I think romance can help your sex life.
I read a lot of romance novels before I ever had sex. Hell, before I ever had a boyfriend. And you know what I learned from them?
- Sex can be pleasurable for a woman. In a world that tells most women that she’s only good for lookin’ pretty, here is an entire genre of books that tells women that they can and should and deserve to feel wonderful when they have sex.
- What to expect when I had sex for the first time. Now, yes, romance can couch its acts in flowery expressions and prose, but frankly, it talks about mechanics from the point of view of the woman. It was way better than the weird 1970s “how to” book handed to me by my mother. *shudder*
- What an orgasm was. Maybe how it kinda felt. When I had one, I knew what that shit was! Thanks, romance!
- To ask for what I wanted. Since I’d learned that sex could be pleasurable, and what an orgasm was, I followed the lead of a few of my favorite heroines who demonstrated sexual agency and encouraged my partner to do what felt good to me.
Now that I’m an old married lady, I’m not ashamed to say that a well-written sex scene in a romance I’m enjoying will give me… ideas. [Insert eyebrow waggle here.] My husband says, “Thanks, romance!”
And those are just some of the reasons why I love and write romance.