QUERY CONTEST—One Sentence Pitch Letter

yeahwriters:

hsgagency:

Attention writers! If you have a manuscript you’d like us to read please send us a one sentence pitch of your novel. Include the genre as well as the age group it is written for (YA, Adult, Middle Grade, etc.) Make it tantalizing, exciting, representative of your work as a whole. Make us want to read your manuscript. Ends Friday May 24 at 5pm

Like, reblog, follow—get the word out!

Sounds like a good opportunity, yeah writers!

(via bookishbiologist)

TUMBLRS ASSEMBLE!

kelsium:

As many of you know, our friend Rosa Sparks is having a real shit time of it lately. The most recent in a long string of personal upheavals is that the house where she and her daughter live was just robbed, and many of their personal belongings were taken. Rosa is about to start her dream job, and the organization is giving her the opportunity to work from home so she can be flexible for Mini Sparks’s demanding school and gymnastics commitments. However, in order to work from home, she needs to be able to use her own laptop. I’ve spoken to her about what Tumblr could do, and she’s expressed that the laptop and some working money is of the most immediate concern. I’d love for us to raise $2,000 for her to replace her laptop as soon as possible, and to give them some cash to replace any necessities while all the insurance bullshit gets worked out. Normally under these circumstances, we’d set up a Chip In, but that site is shut down and I can’t find a similar set up that won’t charge additional fees for donations. So instead I am simply asking you to please PayPal any amount you can spare directly to rosasparks@gmail.com. Please feel free to reblog this post, or repost about it. Rosa is a personal friend to many of us, and a great inspiration and entertainer to many, many more in this community. Thank you so much!

Faux Logic!

OMG Bill O’Reilly and his man guests just vocally fapped all over because some (unnamed) study said conservative men are inherently stronger than nerdy, wimpy liberal men. Why? Liberals don’t believe in work or evil, therefore big strong conservative men with guns.

I have not snapped. Yet.

Today I have been forced to listen to Rush Limbaugh, watch Fox & Friends, and now: BILL O’REILLY.

Fox and Friends is actively telling people that because the evil IRS is in charge of Obamacare, that every conservative will be penalized in the health care arena. As in, the IRS will investigate them because they’re so important and fighting against evil satan Obama, then they won’t be allowed to go to the doctor ever again because satan Obama and his IRS henchmen will stop them, and then they’ll all die.

I didn’t realize this is the way Obamacare works, but the whole killing grandma thing is apparently just around the corner!

“I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!!!”

Rush Limbaugh caller.

Caller in to his national radio show.

Live on the airwaves.

In America.

Strangely, no one stopped her.

Limbaugh constantly refers to the Obama presidency as “the regime.” If we’re a regime, where’s my fancy uniform? Something with rainbows and glitter made of Mitt’s tears, please.

Send ear plugs

Stuck in car with parents. Rush Limbaugh on. Help!

Angie’s Genes Apologize to Every Man On Earth

Today in a statement released to the press, Angelina Jolie’s genes apologized to every man on the earth, nay, in the universe, for cursing her amazing rack. They said, “Biology, ya know, it’s a bitch. And so am I for depriving every male eyeball of the pleasure of feasting on Angie’s natural fun bags. At least until they got saggy or whatever.”

Ms. Jolie underwent a double mastectomy under the misguided assumption that her health was the most important thing. But Bill, a dude standing next to a fire hydrant, corrected her, saying, “Damn, I liked her titties. Why didn’t she ask me? I woulda told her to keep them both. Is she even still a woman now? I mean, sexy cleavage is what women are all about. And they should simultaneously eat a lot and stay size zero.”

In order to avoid such a gross oversight of public opinion, other popular actresses are paying more attention to the needs and wants to every guy ever. Keira Knightley is taking suggestions for her daily underwear choice on her website, and it has been decided on Twitter that Emma Watson should only adopt children, because, as @fuck*nutz556 said, “preggers maks women fat and shit and kids ruin their boobs #tittiesR4me.”

Brad Pitt commented, “Sure, the genes can apologize all they want, but what about the billions of men who own Angie’s breasts? Don’t they all get a say? Look, here’s what we’ll do — she’s going to get a haircut soon. We’re circulating a survey to every male between 18-35, the most important demographic, so that everyone can make her get exactly the haircut they personally want.”

Ms. Jolie was not interviewed for this story, because why?